If we could go back, would we?


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we wore stripes to match, clearly we discussed this ahead of time πŸ˜‰

There’s something lovely about making re-connections in person. After 5 years, my college bestie Laura made it back up to the PacNW and was able to carve out two lovely chunks of time to spend with me. It was wonderful. Our relationship has ebbed and flowed over the past few years, with many life altering situations happening on either end and a phone anxiety getting in the way of keeping each other informed regularly. There was a time when I wondered if we would ever consider each other friends again, but then, we started talking. And while it was somewhat awkward at first, we re-connected…and she came to visit her family, which only solidified our friendship further.

We’re both older, less inclined to gallavanting willy nilly through parks or staying up super late talking in the back of her pickup truck. There were early nights and lots of cups of coffee. And she got to meet Potamus, which was so delightful. What I enjoy about her friendship is that while we picked up where we left off, we were able to fondly recall some of those really good times in college, but we didn’t live in nostalgia land.

Nostalgia land is what I notice with Boof, when we get together with some of his friends and all they do is talk about highschool/college/camp/whatever memory they have from each other. Nostalgia is fun to glance at, but not a fun place to live. The wisftful sadness of wishing to go back to an easier time doesn’t work. It’s like driving, you can glance in the rearview mirror, but you’re sure to get in an accident if you only look in the rearview mirror (unless you’re backing up, heh!). So it was nice to acknowledge the past, but to build our relationship in the here & now.

And when I dropped her off at the airport, I surprised myself with my vulnerable side, and teared up. I was able to express that I had missed her and hoped that we would keep in touch more often. Because I love this girl, ya know? She’s one of the besties that I want to keep in my life. But I love my life, and so, if I could go back…to the ease and quiet of college…I know that I wouldn’t.

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My wedding day

Would you go back to an easier time (college/high school/childhood)?

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6 Comments

  1. High school and college were not easy or perfect times, but I would go back so I could do things better. I got good grades in high school, but i wish i had been more invo.ed in activities. My attitude towards college was a nightmare until age 22. I dropped out of college temporarily, over and over, and if I hadn’t done that I would be graduated by now. Instead I’ll be in my late 20s by the time I have a real job.

    I’m so glad you have old friends like that. They are the best. πŸ™‚ My bf’s friends do the same thing, wishing they could be in high school again, and i don’t understand that. Growing up is where it’s at.

    • Oh, I HATED high school. What a nightmare full of drama!

      Now college…oh how I loved college (mostly). But when I think about ‘going back’ it’s more in a way of…I wish I was carefree in that way, where my biggest worry was whether I’d get a boyfriend or what to drink on Friday night. We had hours and hours and hours to chat about everything and we lived so close. That’s the nostalgia..but I wouldn’t be 21 again for anything.

      • Definitely and I think that’s why people look back fondly on youth and I don’t. I was never carefree like that; I worked 5 days a week in high school–my own stupid choice–and once I graduated I moved out and always had the stress of rent and working. I would make different choices if I’d known.

    • Yeah, while I never really considered myself overweight, I do remember when I was like 205 lbs and though “hmm, I should exercise more,” but now I wish that I’d be 205…while that’s still considered ‘overweight’ for my height (our height?), I feel super strong and sexy and that weight. I mean, sure, I’d be 180 if it happened by magic, but I’m not going to force it πŸ˜‰

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