mother? mistress?

The sleeping arrangements in our house is becoming an issue, though I’m trying to not give up so quickly on it, as the past has shown, just as I hit my almost breaking point, a shift happens and Potamus makes a leap in abilities and maturity. But the past few weeks have been spent with me dividing my time between our king sized memory foam bed with a down comforter and Potamus’ twin size old bunk-bed mattress with blankets on the floor. On average I’m getting 2-3 in our bed and the rest of the night is spent with Potamus, though he has refused to come back to co-sleeping with us in our bed. I guess he wants me all to himself.

There are nights when I wake up and seriously have no idea where I am. I imagine this might be like celebrities who hotel-hop, and at any moment I’m going to shout “Hello Nebraska!” but haven’t left my humble abode in bedroom Seattle. When I sleep in my bedroom I sleep like a king. When I sleep in Potamus’ room, I sleep like Cinderella, on the floor, though the sleep is deep from exhaustion.

I know it’s a phase. I am committed to not having Potamus simply cry it out in his room alone. I love that he’s going down better for naps, and is even waking up during the day and not screaming for Boof or me, instead, motoring around his room reading books and playing with his toys. This is what I want, the independence and freedom and for him to associate his bedroom with sleep and calm and comfort. But I am tired, and would like to only have to go into his room 1 time a night…and not just 1 time at night and then stay there for 7 hours. 🙂

Forrest Friends


  1. Oh mama, hugs! Nothing quite like a year + of non-continuous sleep to wear on a person!

    I find that what you said of Potamas is also true of my Vesper…as soon as I’m at my breaking point with something, she makes progress on her own. A lesson in patience that I don’t seem to be learning very well! 🙂 We didn’t do CIO either, except in limited ways (like when I’m solo-parenting and had to say have a shower or take the dogs or have a pee) or when it became (arond 18 months) less ‘crying’ and more ‘bitching’…instead of wailing/tears she would lay/stand there griping and whining. We let some of that go (to the point ofo ur own comfort, nothing I could really quantify) and it worked to help her settle on her own. That being said, all this is so individual (parent and child) and circumstantial (developmental milestone? new tooth? new place?) that none of my anecdotal words can help you…except hopefully to say “I hear you sister” and “You WILL sleep again!”

  2. This sounds so like how our house used to be with Bunny. But now she very rarely wants someone to sleep in with her and mostly sleeps a good 12 hours at night. The turning point came when she was nearly 3, and I think we were close to breaking too.
    I just wanted to reassure you that this gentler method does work too, even if it takes a little longer. I keep hoping Bear will be ready to sleep alone sooner, but then realise I’ll miss those nighttime cuddles so try not to wish it away!
    You’re doing a great job there!

    • Thanks! Last night I got a solid 5 hours alone, and then another 2.5 stretch, so I am trying to not complain. All the moments where he grows up so fast, that I know it’s worth it (especially in retrospect), but I have half a mind to buy some sweet memory foam twin mattress loveliness so that the moments I do sleep with him are less uncomfortable! Though that would almost certainly guarantee him sleeping through the night, right?!

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