Independence Day for Mama

popsicles for Independence Day @ school

In the past 2.5 years, Potamus has slept through the night only a handful of times (with the caveat that he ALWAYS sleeps through the night when he’s co-sleeping in our bed, which has resulted in us just co-sleeping every night for the past I-don’t-know-how-long). It’s hard being the kind of authentic mom I want to be, making choices like co-sleeping that feel good but are also draining on me as an introvert. I want a full night’s sleep. Okay, I’d settle for not getting up 5 times a night (like I did the other night).

People around me have helpful* advice like having him cry it out over a period of 3 days (to 3 weeks!) in order to ‘break’ him of his co-sleeping habit. I cringe at the thought. While this has clearly worked for other people’s kids, and they don’t seem worse for the wear, I just don’t want to go that route. So here I am, like last year’s “I AM SO DONE WITH BREASTFEEDING!” post (where I stuck it out for another 6 months until he weaned on his own) wanting my little guy to freaking sleep on his own for more than 30 minutes-2 hours. Ya know?

So last weekend we went and spent a few nights at my parent’s house in Eastern Washington. And one of the nights he slept shittily. And the next night I woke up at 7 and puttered out of the bedroom with Potamus still snuggled in. And he slept for a good 2.5 hours more. And when he woke up I played to his current obsession with praise, and told a little white parenting lie, by exclaiming proudly:

“YOU DID IT! Buddy you slept all by yourself, I am so proud of you! You’re such a big boy!”

He had a big smile on his face, when he said “I did it!” I wish I had taken a picture of his smile paired with his little blonde bedhead. So freaking adorable.

This week, since that, has been up and down. But I am proud to say, that he has slept through the night TWICE! When he cries out for ‘mama’ in the middle of the night, I go in, and snuggle down with him until he falls back asleep. Every day he’s made it until about 6 am. And last night he slept from 8:30-6 am, and then came into our bed and slept until 8:30. He gets so excited that he “did it!” all by himself, that I’m hoping we’re on a trend toward more independence as a mom. While I cherish the snuggles, like this morning, I also loved sleeping a few hours in a row in a bed all by myself.

Happy Independence Day ya’ll! Stay safe!

Awkward Toddler Bedsharing

“Hey Monk-Monk, how’s weaning going?” a well meaning friend asked me recently.

“Um. Uh. Yeah. Um…it’s not,” I replied

Because, I’m too damn tired. And the kid has stopped biting, and has been going to sleep after nursing (though he’s not milk drunk anymore…EVER, but he’s stopped freaking out when I unlatch and tell him no more, and that it’s time to go to sleep. And when I say he’s stopped freaking out, I mean, he only cries for like…5 heart-wrenching minutes, as he snuggles down. To help with weaning  (at least in my mind), I’ve started having him sleep in our bed when he wakes up around midnight. And he’s not been wanting to nurse in the middle of the night, since he’s snuggled in to my armpit. For the most part, it’s been pretty sweet…

But can we talk about the AWKWARDNESS of sleeping with a toddler? Like waking up with a leg on your neck? Or having to pee in the middle of the night, which causes a FREAKOUT by Mr. Toddler-Crabby-Pants. Or, even more awkward, is when he climbed on my back (like a baby gorilla), and fell asleep. Which lasted 30 minutes, until he PEED ON MY BACK! Wha??!??!

I mean, we’ve managed to bumble through toddler peeing in our bed, but peeing on my back? Yeah, that’s what’s up in our house, folks. Awesomesauce!

because this looks like a comfy way to sleep…

So, how’s the sleep in your house?