Another Milestone Gone

 

Potamus has been showing A LOT of interest in potty training. The other day I showed up to school to pick him up, and I found him reading at the table. His teacher was SO EXCITED to show me the book he picked “all by himself,” which happened to be a Berenstein Bear story about potty training. Whoa. Since Boof didn’t potty train until 3, I figured I had awhile before we’d be starting that adventure, but apparently not so much!

Yesterday afternoon, after we got home from school, I noticed that he was assuming ‘the position’ over by our side table, and I calmly picked him up (he had much protesting, as I had clearly interupted him getting comfortable), and set him on his training potty. I turned my back to give him privacy, and BOOM there he is, pooping in his potty. When I gave him a loving congratulations he looked SO FREAKING PROUD, which is just like a dude, right?

I love photography, and documenting milestones, but this one I couldn’t. Not because I couldn’t, but because our dickweasel dog ate the poop straight out of the training potty. BARF! I guess that example highlights the insanity that happens in our life!

 

What cool things are your kids up to these days?

Fox News & a Flooded Bathroom

My parents are visiting for a few days so that they can get their taxes done AND see their grandson all in one fell swoop. Additionally, this leaves us able to go out to dinner with Boof’s family, since his sister is in town from Georgia! Hurray! Yay for grandparents!

Except for when it’s not so ‘yay.’ Like, today, when Potamus hadn’t napped all day and I drove him home to get a nap in before we had to go for dinner. I walked into the house and found Fox News blaring on the TV (I swear, it’s all my parents watch, and it makes me insane-asylum-crazy to listen to it 24/7) and the bathroom flooded.

Yes.

My parents had taken a crap in the toilet, knew it flooded, “tried” to plunge it, and then just left. When I called my mom to inquire (after a small internal freakout and half hour spent trying to get Potamus to finally take a goddamn nap) about why there was enough standing water in the bathroom to float a small rubber duck, she replied:

“Oh, it wasn’t like that when we left!”

She was entirely too chipper for my liking. Especially since SURE it wasn’t like that when you left, but with a toilet bowl that’s continually running, the four hours you’ve been gone it went from dripping to a giant-ass puddle on my bathroom floor that I now have to figure out how to clean up with a toilet that is still clogged. It’s like having teenagers living in my house. Irresponsible teenagers even.

Talk about shitty all around!

But I only hit the wall one time with my fist, so I feel like I’m really utilizing those good coping skills. Which means there’s been progress. And I’m contemplating blocking Fox News from even showing up on our channel list so they might have to engage with something other than their normal propaganda. Like maybe I’ll only allow Ellen to be shown, because she makes me happy and irks  my dad with all her fabulous gayness.

 

I hope the rest of the weekend isn’t as crappy. Ha!

 

Road Trip: 3 adults, 2 babies, 1 dog

This weekend Boof and I realized that in NO way are we ready for another infant. We had a family reunion across the mountains in Eastern Washington and because my brother’s almost-ex-wife is not letting him drive her around (can’t wait for the custody to be figured out soon), so we packed her up in our car, along with Potamus, crazy Scrummy the dog (sporting his new “autism” wrap to help him stay calm) and headed out over the mountains with bro following on his banged up crotch rocket.

The trip went smoothly there, stopping once in Cle Elum to refuel the adults and the babies (and a pee break for Scrummy). The day was spent catching up with my grandma, playing Catch Phrase (a game I am wicked awesome at) and sneaking away for a coffee break with my good friend. The BEST part was introducing Potamus to The Columbia River. He wasn’t nearly as impressed as me, but did warm up to it after awhile, even dipping his toes in the water on his own and reaching down to touch the waves.

On the way home, however, I decided that despite my 6’1 frame, I am really an Olympic gymnast. It was getting late (for babies, which means it was aproximately 6:20pm) and my niece started whining…which set Potamus off whining…which ended up in this big circle of whining (I joined in), that wasn’t alleviated by my holding a bottle or pacifier into the back seat for Niece and trying to hold one of Potamus’s toys out for him to play. It wasn’t working. Because we were still on Blewett pass, with very little area to stop and refuel the babes, I slid into the backseat….in between the two car-seats. Yeah, brings back memories of “double-buckling” when we were kids. To sooth Potamus, I leaned as far forward as I could and flopped my enormous boob into his mouth. Yay, I got to celebrate World Breastfeeding week in an unsually contorted position! Meanwhile, my other hand was trying to hold the bottle of pumped milk out for Niece to drink from.

She might be the slowest eater ever.

Potamus might be growing through a needy/whiny/nurse-to-sleep-and-keep-nursing-for-20-minutes phase.

(needless to say, I got a massage this week to deal with the new kinks I discovered).

So there I am, boob in the mouth of one babe, arm stretched for bottle in the mouth of the other, and I realize that Scrummy is eating a poopy diaper in the front seat.

Awesome.

I said, “wow, we need a picture of this!”

In Boof’s unruffled way he replied, “I’m sorry, I’m not in a position to be taking a picture at this moment.”

So we survived our day trip, but I’m thinking I’m going to be less-inclined to get knocked up before Potamus is in…oh…say college. One crying baby in diapers is enough!