I just ate 5 packages of fruit snacks…at my work desk. Yeah, it’s one of those kinds of days.
I hate being emotionally influenced by people around me, but today I’ve felt really off and I think it’s because my boss is having some sort of emotional turmoil and I can’t quite figure it out, but it’s coming out in passive aggressive comments and energy that I feel directed toward me but know it shouldn’t be. I’m doing my work, not shirking responsibilities, and hate that he made light of me offering to switch offices for an hour this afternoon so our case manager could have a student use a working computer. His response was, “well all you do is facebook all day anyway,” which might be true on some days, but certainly not today. I dunno, the passive aggressive educational system bullshit is getting to me, though I know that it’s not about me…I can’t help but internalize the swirling dark emotions around my office and think “it must be about me.”
Maybe it’s just the Monday blues, but things aren’t rolling off my back like they should be. I’m feeling sensitive, vulnerable, like I might cry at any moment and an attempt to stave off those tears might lead me to lash out in anger (my more usual MO). Maybe therapy is working and I’m starting to feel and tears might begin leaking out in inappropriate places. Or maybe my boss was just being a jerk and I should let it roll off my back.