Loss

It seems as though the universe is trying to teach me about non-attachment. I don’t consider myself to be that sentimental of a person, but when asked what (non-people) items I would save from a house-fire, I am certain to include photo-albums and the journals I’ve been writing since I was 14. Everything else could be replaced, but those things feel priceless to me. So imagine my surprise, and shock, and horror, and sadness when I change out my SD card on my camera, put the filled one in my wallet to later transfer to a safe place, only to find that somewhere in the transfer my wallet has fallen open and my SD card is missing.

Big deep breaths.

While it wasn’t the SD card holding the pictures right after Potamus was born, it did hold months 4-7 and if you know me in real life (or on facebook) you would know that SD card held over 5,000 photos of my sweet little cherub that are now…gone.

Well, Boof tries to console me that they really aren’t gone, not all of them at least, thanks to the handy Facebook photo archives and random hard-drive backups…but all of the pictures in high quality are gone.

When I realized this happened, I tried to not freak out. Being able to still see many of those photos online is okay, it means that I can still see them, but the loss of those digital “negatives” is pretty heart-breaking to me.

And then, my backup hardrive went kaput. Yeah. Not only did I lose all of those photos that I had backed up, (some still saved on Boof’s computer), but random documents from the last few years. Things I don’t necessarily need, or even remember, but just knowing that they ARE NO LONGER THERE is sad and disconcerting to me.

But I survived that.

AND THEN our Scrummy-dog chewed up the memory stick that held ALL of my music. I had lost several CD’s after my trip to India, but still had them all this memory stick, which is now a mangled mess of plastic and metal. All of those songs. Thousands of songs. Gone. Now all of it can be replaced, as I could go to Amazon and just buy them all again, but still…the time and energy going into that is ridiculous.

So what am I supposed to learn in all of this? Is there some big mystery lesson or just really really crappy luck?