I’ve finally felt confident enough to stand closer to the mirrors in yoga class. After 5 months of practicing I’ve noticed an influx of newbies, brought by New Year resolutions and a Groupon offer, and have felt bad taking up room in the back of the class when I know the bikram series and can reasonably make it through the whole 90 minutes without spending half of it on my back in savasana. The first few times up close to the mirror went well, but then…
I got distracted.
We’re supposed to “look one place, at yourself, in the mirror,” and I began meditating on the tip of my nose. I could make half eye contact with myself and see my body as I bent into the poses. But then I started to notice my nose. The nose ring on the left side. The nostrils. Oh god, the nostrils.
I became obsessed with my nostrils. Have you ever really looked at your nose? Well, my nostrils are uneven. Lopsided. One side of my nose is higher than others. And I couldn’t stop looking at it, obsessing, analyzing.
I should have been focused on the postures, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how un-perfect my nose was. The next class I stepped back a few feet so that I wasn’t getting such close up look at the
HORRIBLE CHARACTER FLAW lack of facial perfection. I needed to take a step back and focus softly, seeing myself, my practice, my life from a slight distance, because too zoomed in I got overly picky on a detail that I can’t change anyway.
Well, there’s always a nose job, right?
Silly girl. You’re beautiful! 🙂