first day of school (work) for mama!
Summer is over, and I am back to work (shh, no I’m not blogging from my desk when I should be putting together packets for the beginning of school). I decided that I was going to handle this transition differently than others, that I wouldn’t begin thinking or talking about it ahead of time. I have noticed my tendency to process, re-process, and then OVER-PROCESS impending transitions, and that actually contributes to my increased anxiety. So this time I ignored the transition. Maybe it was denial, or maybe it was really awesome coping, I’m not quite sure. And while last night I had a touch of restless sleeping, I’m going to chalk it up to that rascally 20 month old lying next to me.
To allay the back-to-work-mama guilt that started to spin my wheels around 5pm (all those ‘but I should have done this’ or ‘is it going to be hard for Potamus to go to daycare 4 days from only 2 days?’ thoughts, I decided to focus on what I HAD accomplished this summer. And it turns out that I was a pretty freaking amazing mom in the past 3 months of summer:
- Road trip to Cannon Beach
- no less than 6 trips to the zoo
- no less than 5 trips to KidsQuest Museum
- Road trip to Cama Beach State Park
- Road trip to Eastern Washington
- Splash park shenanigans
- Weekly lunch dates (with tot-in-tow) with mom friends
- Puyallup Fair
- barbecues with the grandparents
- splashing in our backyard ‘pool’
- endless bubble blowing excursions
- lunch dates to Panera
- driving around listening to Macklemore to get Potamus to take a nap
I mean, the list could go on and on. Where I failed, in my grumpy attitude toward my husband, and resenting him working 3 jobs, I also excelled in rolling with the punches in a lot of cases I re-defined my identity as a summertime-stay-at-home-mom, and am now back to work, and I will miss out on certain aspects of life with Potamus, but I will also gain a lot, as well. I’m trying to focus on what I did, the moments we snuggled, and the experiences of him hugging me voluntarily for the first time, how I’ve really gotten to see him develop into a funny little person with a personality as big as the moon, and a sense of humor to rival any tv comedian. It was a good summer. Yes it was hard, but, like labor, I remember all the good parts, all the love I felt, in betwen all the sandwich making, diaper changing, tantrum avoiding messes. In wistful moments I think of how much of a sweet baby he was at the beginning of the summer, and how a ‘short’ three months has turned him in to quite the ‘little man’ toddler. Sigh. Those hugs he gives me, though…I mean, that’s gold.
boof & monk-monk 
Love this. I should make a list too! I always feel a little regret at the beginning of transitions too. But, it sounds like you WERE an awesome mom this summer. And, with a husband working three jobs, anyone would be a little grumpy.
I know, I sometimes think that it’d be magical if he was just working 1 job. And that will happen after football season (he’s an official) and then he’ll just be working his regular old accounting job. I told him next year he can’t work for the Mariners and be a football official. I can handle an extra few weeks working 2 jobs, but we need to be more of a family. I’ve felt like not only a stay at home mom, but a single mom, too, which is exhausting.
It’s hard to focus on what I did and not what I wanted to do but didn’t get to. Because I think if the summer in a whole was remembered it’d be a really beautiful and fun thing.
How do I navigate transitions? I ignore them as much as possible and go completely numb until they are over, hhahahahahahah!!! (I’m laughing b/c I’m actually being serious and it makes me uncomfortable, sigh..)