To Apply or Not to Apply, That is the Question

I’m taking a break, at work, from working on my cover letter and resume. I hadn’t anticipated that 6 months into my new job, I would be considering changing positions. After all, this was the job that I had specifically requested the Universe provide for me: 20-30 hours a week, flexible, teaching AND advising/counseling at a College. I mostly really enjoy my job, though there’s some passive aggressive communication that happens in our very tiny department, I mostly log my hours, teach my classes and go home…to where I am spending a lot of my time with Potamus, playing and having fun. I work 32 hours a week, Monday-Thursday, and have three day weekends every week. Or four days if it falls on a holiday like President’s Day!

So why am I considering another position? Well, it’s full-time (35 hours a week), tenure track Faculty Counselor. More $$. More security (after tenure). More Counseling. And my friend/graduate school peer would be my director. She’s motivated, driven, and inspirational. The program is not robust right now, and I could be on the cutting edge in making it into a thriving counseling department. The downsides is that it is more hours and less teaching. But, it’s what I actually went to school for (college counseling), and the pay is pretty darn good.

I feel torn. My mind flops back and forth on whether to apply. Many tell me “what’s the harm in applying?” But, by applying, I am showing that I am looking for other things, that I do not want to settle in to this job for the long-haul. Though that’s not entirely the case, because I do see myself here for another year or two before I would feel stifled. Part of me feels like not applying sells myself short, and that I deserve to be challenged and promoted, because I have a strong work-ethic and like a team environment where I feel challenged toward doing better, being better.

The reason to stay in my current job, is that I’ve only been here 6 months (5 months, truly, because of Winter Break), and feel that I owe myself and the position some time to get settled in and really shape how I want it to go. Right now, though, I know I could do this job through the end of next school year without much problem. And I LOVE the teaching portion, but the adivising portion is less than stellar. Though I also know that without much guidance or focus I tend to slip into madly-pinning-on-Pinterest. I’m not good at making myself busy when I don’t have to be. I could see myself sliding into a sort of humdrum complacency, which usually makes me irritable.

Sigh.

I hate this feeling.

I know that applying wouldn’t guarantee me the job. It’s a hot ticket item in this economy, but I do know that I’d have a better shot at it because I’m already in the system. If I did get it, I’m sure I would love that job, too. It’d be different than what I’m doing, but still probably fulfilling. It would just be different. And I’d be making more $, and more security. But I’d also be working more, which would mean less time with Potamus. But not THAT much less time, since it’s only 3 hours a week more.

So…should I apply? Or not?