On wanting to smash everything with a hammer


Today I feel like smashing things. Smashing the TV so I don’t have to see one more goddamn fucking politician and their smarmy lies and twisted truths. Sure I still plan to cast my very-first-ever-non-elementary-school-election-vote, but that still doesn’t take away from the urge to smash the TV. And while I’m at it…the radio. I’ll keep my one sane CD and smash the rest. This Smashy feeling inside me is like the character Yzma, from The Emperor’s New Groove, who wanted to tun Cuzco into a flea, and put him in a box, and smash that box with a hammer. She looked like this:

That’s how I feel inside. Smashy.

It wasn’t a particularly annoying or unproductive day, though my afternoon class is starting to wear on me. It feels a little like a car whose brakes have been cut and we’re careening downhill. How do I rein it back in and keep my integrity as a teacher? I genuinely want ALL of my students to pass…and 99% of them I want to pass because they deserve it, and the other 1% so that I don’t have to see their smug mugs in my class again next quarter. I’m a college instructor. I don’t want to give seating charts or make them raise their hand or lock the door after a 10 minute break when they can’t show up on time.

 

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2 Comments

  1. it’s sad and probably a little mean, but my mom was a professor and she and my sisters and i used to read papers that students turned in and laugh so hard that we could barely speak. please, keep doing what you’re doing, it’s so very important to have people in the field who actually care.

    • Awe, thanks! Yeah, the writing skillz certainly lack something in the era of facecrack. I’ve told my students that LOL and OMG are not acceptable forms of writing in my essays. Sad that I have to be THAT explicit đŸ™‚

      I feel especially frustrated because these are students who have not succeeded in a traditional high school setting, and therefore are not necessarily “built” to succeed in a traditional college setting…but are giving it a go anyway. Many will succeed, but they are more adaptable, somehow realizing that college is like learning a new culture. The others are obviously repeating the same mistakes they did before. But somehow it feels like I should be able to do something different to help them!

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